Many of you are new here, and don't know who I am because of it. You also don't know why I left, and I would like to take some time to share with all of you why I disappeared, and how I discovered the strength to come back.
On Dec. 15th of 2011, I tried to commit suicide. Again, let me repeat that for all of you: suicide. I'm not going to try to downplay the situation in, nor am I going to milk the situation, either.
For this place, my suicide has very deep meaning to it. So deep, in fact, that I wouldn't be surprised if other individuals felt the same way that I do. I tried to take my life after the passage of the NDAA act. I became convinced that people were going to to take me away from the people that I love, and I came to the conclusion that if I killed myself, I wouldn't have to worry about people coming to take me away. If you find this hard to believe, just ask Seth and EddyK. These gentlemen will back me up on this confession.
In many ways, the idea of people coming after me was an influence. I "used" to be a staunch follower and listener of Alex Jones, but have repudiated from him since then. I now get my news from Lew Rockwell.com and other sites such as Rumor Mill News and DailyPaul. Jones, however keen on giving people the truth, is a fear monger, and I cannot allow that to make me down any more.
In case you're wondering, when I tried to commit suicide, I tried to slit my wrists. In short, a cliche.
I'm starting to get choked up as I write this, but I need to stay strong. I know I can be strong.
The night after my attempted suicide, I mustered the courage to tell my parents. I told them that I was in trouble and that I needed help right away. Their reaction was one of fear but intense worry. My mom held me in her arms and got on the phone with family to ask for help.
The day after, I met with a specialist who diagnosed me with extreme anxiety and panic. I disconnected from this site a few days after to help me heal, and was given a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication. I have also disconnected from Alex Jones, and no longer go to Infowars.com or Prisonplanet.com.
I have come back here because I missed you guys, and because you guys were some of the money that reached out to me when I was in danger. You talked to me, reminded me of the people who needed me and loved me, and protected me. For that, you are all in my debt.
I have become much better now. I no longer fear that someone is coming after me, and I have become a much stronger because of it. I know that everything is going to be OK, and as I long as I'm surrounded by people that love and care about me, I don't have to worry.