Why I left, and how I came back

[SinCityVoluntaryist]

 Hi guys,

 Many of you are new here, and don't know who I am because of it. You also don't know why I left, and I would like to take some time to share with all of you why I disappeared, and how I discovered the strength to come back.

 On Dec. 15th of 2011, I tried to commit suicide. Again, let me repeat that for all of you: suicide. I'm not going to try to downplay the situation in, nor am I going to milk the situation, either. 

 For this place, my suicide has very deep meaning to it. So deep, in fact, that I wouldn't be surprised if other individuals felt the same way that I do. I tried to take my life after the passage of the NDAA act. I became convinced that people were going to to take me away from the people that I love, and I came to the conclusion that if I killed myself, I wouldn't have to worry about people coming to take me away. If you find this hard to believe, just ask Seth and EddyK. These gentlemen will back me up on this confession. 

 In many ways, the idea of people coming after me was an influence. I "used" to be a staunch follower and listener of Alex Jones, but have repudiated from him since then. I now get my news from Lew Rockwell.com and other sites such as Rumor Mill News and DailyPaul. Jones, however keen on giving people the truth, is a fear monger, and I cannot allow that to make me down any more.

 In case you're wondering, when I tried to commit suicide, I tried to slit my wrists. In short, a cliche. 

 I'm starting to get choked up as I write this, but I need to stay strong. I know I can be strong.

 The night after my attempted suicide, I mustered the courage to tell my parents. I told them that I was in trouble and that I needed help right away. Their reaction was one of fear but intense worry. My mom held me in her arms and got on the phone with family to ask for help.

 The day after, I met with a specialist who diagnosed me with extreme anxiety and panic. I disconnected from this site a few days after to help me heal, and was given a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication. I have also disconnected from Alex Jones, and no longer go to Infowars.com or Prisonplanet.com. 

 I have come back here because I missed you guys, and because you guys were some of the money that reached out to me when I was in danger. You talked to me, reminded me of the people who needed me and loved me, and protected me. For that, you are all in my debt.

 I have become much better now. I no longer fear that someone is coming after me, and I have become a much stronger because of it. I know that everything is going to be OK, and as I long as I'm surrounded by people that love and care about me, I don't have to worry. 

 

[Seth King]

So, when are you moving to New Hampshire? 

[SinCityVoluntaryist]

 I'll get back to you on that possible move, Seth. =D

[dpalme]

We're all glad to have you back, bud. I can totally understand your reasoning. I used to be an avid listener to AJ as well and had to stop back in Septemberish just because it was too much. The man has good insight, but just blows the smallest thing way out of proportion.

[victim77]

Yes, I used to go to infowars and prisonplanet and all that crap, but I realized that all it does is make you feel helpless and it gives you nothing of value except paranoia and fear. There's something to be said for optimism from people like Stefan and Adam Kodesh.

[SinCityVoluntaryist]

 So I'm not the only one, huh? That's interesting.

 Though Alex is a good guy who I commend for trying to help people wake-up to the truth about the world and what's really going on, I don't like the way he goes about doing things. The man is just too negative, and he does nothing but fill you with feelings of helplessness and an inability to win. Hell, even the psychological layout of his website is pretty morose. It's nothing but dark colors (mostly blue and black), and there's nothing there that gives you any sense of self-confidence. At least sites like Lewrockwell.com and freedomainradio are different.

[derick]

I used to go to infowars and a few other doom and gloom sites on a daily basis, until I realized what a waste of time that was. AJ has some good information but the amount of bullshit you have to wade through, is not worth the time. A constant intake of negative information is not healthy and it doesnt leave much room for positive ideas or solutions. Now that I have made the coversion to ancap, I enjoy talking with people because now I have more to offer than just pointing out everything that is wrong.

I went back and read some of your posts before your attempted suicide and the excellent advice that was offered by the people here at DA and I cant tell you how happy I am to have found such a good group of people here at DA. I am glad that you are ok now and that you are back, good luck.

[Seth King]

I'm lucky to have you guys! There is no other site that I enjoy more than DA. The only thing we could use more of is front page content and forum regulars. Both will come in time, though, I hope!

[David Giessel]

Glad you're back, and that you got out of Jonesville alright!

[Freya]

It's good to see you pulled through. I'm glad my message was helpful to you and that you managed to seek help with your parents.

On Dec. 15th of 2011, I tried to commit suicide. Again, let me repeat that for all of you: suicide. I'm not going to try to downplay the situation in, nor am I going to milk the situation, either.  

I know exactly how that feels, trust me. I had strong suicidal thoughts at age 14, I did not understand why back then, though I do now. My loving family and my unusually strong will to live seem to have saved me. Yet the thing that was causing these thoughts never went away. Severe depression has been a common thing in my life for the past 10 years. That is, until I found the cause about a month ago.

Which brings me to:

These gentlemen

Would be Gentlewoman in my case. You've probably missed my own confession in your absence.. I was still confused in that thread though and I'm definitely not happy living as a male, because I'm not. I've decided to transition and change my body so that it finally matches the pattern in my brains. Its really become either that or eternal depression and possibly suicide for me.

So yeah, I'm afraid my promises to Seth of visiting NH will have to be postponed as I desperately need the money for other things. It's also why I haven't been so active here as of late, I've had other things on my mind.  

[dissidentX]

Yikes rough topic. Honestly I can kinda understand why someone would be vulnerable to such stuff if they are an Alex Jones follower. His whole schtick seems to me to invite violence. It's in both his delivery and in the fact that at least 40% of the stuff he says is at least not provable or at most not true.

[dpalme]

Yikes rough topic. Honestly I can kinda understand why someone would be vulnerable to such stuff if they are an Alex Jones follower. His whole schtick seems to me to invite violence. It's in both his delivery and in the fact that at least 40% of the stuff he says is at least not provable or at most not true.

The main reason I left was just that he smells conspiracy in everything! Yes there's a lot of bad people doing bad things, but bad things happen on their own too.